Thoughts on Headwinds and Living with Depression (July 12, 2012)

The prevailing winds go west to east.  This means that much of the time we have a headwind.  Now, the quality of the wind varies: sometimes it is a full-on headwind that pushes against us and slows us way down.  At times, it feels like I am riding a stationary bicycle.  Other times the wind is light and just reminds us that it is there.  The wind also sometimes blows to one side or the other, a cross-wind, as it were.  Then there are the few times we get a tailwind.  This is delightful as it works with us as we pedal forward.  It’s amazing how a tailwind can make cycling feel effortless.

Living with depression is like traveling east to west on a bicycle.  Much of the time I am pushing and pushing, moving forward but often at a snail’s pace.  I feel that even as I do things that are challenging, that I have something working against me.  And like the wind, there is not much to do about the basic state.  I live with depression and the wind usually travels west to east.  Yet it can be hard not to get frustrated or discouraged with the state of affairs.  Somehow it doesn’t seem fair, and perhaps it is not.

But much of life is learning to make the best of what you have in front of you.  And this is true with living with depression as well as the headwinds.  Sometimes, I feel thankful for the headwind – when the heat is blistering and I am sweating a light headwind cools me off.  Learning to live with my depression has meant that I have learned to reflect and feel deeply.  I have learned to take care of myself and be compassionate with others as well as myself.  So, although there are still times I curse the headwinds and the depression, there are other times when I pause and am grateful.