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Not all who wander are lost, but I might be. |
I once taught a workshop that supplemented a composition
course called Subject A at the University of California, Berkeley. For the course, the instructor had assigned
an essay that explored the difference between the map of something and the
actual terrain. (I believe it was
exploring the bigger idea of representation, and it was not limited to
geographical maps; however, it was a long
time ago and I don’t fully recall.) In
any event, I have been thinking about this as I navigate us across the country.
Navigation is hard work.
Every night I sit with the maps and make cue sheets that I can read from
the map holder on my bike. (The text on
the map is tiny and with my old eyes there is no way I could follow it.) I check the maps with the addendum and double
check that I got it right.
However, all the planning in the world does not really
prepare us for the actual terrain which can vary drastically from the map. The Adventure Cycling maps are quite good and
do a good job of trying to represent the actual roads, signage and all. Yet, there are times they will say “continue
straight” when the road forks, or “turn right” when it seems to go
straight. (These maps are however, MUCH
better than Google Maps Bicycle which seem to get me lost every time.)
For these occasions, I rely on my I-phone and Google maps
(not the bicycle routes). For the most
part, I can figure out where I am and how to go (that is once I figure out the
orientation). It is particularly
helpful in bigger cities as the ACA maps are not quite as good for the cities,
as they only show the main route.
Even with the maps and the technology, I have led us
astray. Once we made a wrong turn on a
bicycle trail and had to backtrack 4 miles.
This was frustrating. Another
time, we went the wrong way out of the town of Iroquois for about 3 miles. Occasionally,
I have over shot a turn, and realized it a bit later. So far, though the bike path mistake has been
the worst, and I usually figure out something is wrong before we get too far
along.
And none of the maps or technology can really account for the
ways that the terrain changes. Roads are
closed or in disrepair, or signs are missing or misplaced. Once I went the wrong way, because the sign
had been shifted.
It can be hard to know what to trust – the map or the
sign? The maps have been wrong too, and
I have to be sure to check the corrections as I make the cue sheets. I think I tend to trust the signs more than
the map, but that has caused us to go some extra miles at times.
All of this can be stressful.
It is a lot of responsibility to be the navigator. I am constantly looking at my cycling
computer to see how many miles to the next turn. (I have to be sure to warn David too, lest he
gets too far ahead of me and misses it.)
I am always looking for cues that we are on the right road – road signs,
cross streets, names of towns. Sometimes
a sign will say a town is 11 miles away and somehow we ride 18. It can be hard to understand.
This is all an apt metaphor for life though. We may have some kind of “map” we are trying
to follow – which is usually in the form of expectations – either our own or
our family’s. And yet, somehow, most of
us go astray and find our road veers from the map that we had in our
minds. The actual terrain of my life had
led me on roads that I never expected to follow. It has not always been my choice or what I
would have wanted, but I have learned from the journey. I mean who wants to be depressed? Or lose their job? Or be away from their child for many years? These things were not on my map, yet they
were on my terrain. I navigated through
them with as much dignity and strength as I could muster.
It is important to me to remember that although I may have
maps, that what I face in life (on the road, or at home) can differ from the
representation. After all, maps are
merely a representation of something experienced. They are a tool, as are plans and
expectations, but one that, in my opinion, should not be deemed as more valid
or true than the lived experience and the journey. I may not always be on the map, but that does
not make my life, or trip any less than if I were. Accepting the journey and my
path is one of the lessons that I am embracing; it is a lesson of the road that
can be extended into life itself.