Do You Belong Here? Or a Run-In with a Bigot

I had a rough start yesterday morning.  We went to a State Campground and I asked the janitor if I could use the bathroom.  He looked at me sternly and asked, “Do you belong here?”  I was taken aback and asked what he meant.  He asked if I were a camper at the park.  I said, “no,” and he said that the bathrooms were only for campers.  I left.  However, it was clear to me that his question was more about who I was than whether I was a camper.  He just didn’t like the likes of me.  
 

It is always startling when I hit that kind of racism – the vibe is palpable.  When it happens it cuts to the core, yet it is not surprising in some ways.  We still live in a racist country, where White men like him don’t like Asian women like me.  (And I am my own brand of unique – with my cycling gear and eyebrow ring.)  The other thing is that I was a traveler and sometimes that works against me as well.  I am a stranger and look like one too.  This can make people suspicious and hostile.  

After we left the campground I kept thinking of come backs like “I am kind and belong to the human race.  Do you?”  Or “I belong more than you do.”  I don’t know.  If he had just said, “I am sorry but there bathrooms are only for campers.”  I would not have been happy and still thought he was a jerk, but it wouldn’t have had the effect of making me feel hurt and angry.

The good news is that on our travels thus far, we have met more kind people than bigots.  Yet, the bigots can ruin a day, if you let them.  Small men who exert psudo-power over others make me angry.  We went down the road a bit and bought coffee at a country store.  The woman there let me use the bathroom.  It is a reminder that how we are in the world does matter.  If we are kind and generous, it effects not only the way we feel about ourselves but the lives of others.  I also believe that what we put out in the world comes back to us.  So, it pays to be kind.