Praying on the Bike

Crossing a Bridge on the bike.

On September 17^th, I got on a plane and went to Baltimore to be with my daughter, her step-mom and my family to mourn the passing of my dear friend and ex-husband Peter Marvit.  I stayed for a week and a half.  When it was clear that I could not hover over my eighteen year old daughter forever I got back on a plane and rejoined my partner David in Portland, Oregon where he was patiently waiting for me.  Part of the plan of riding to the west coast was to visit his family in California.  So we bought a car in Portland and drove to Folsom, CA to visit his sister Sarah and her husband Kent.

Now, Sarah and Kent are also cyclists.  So yesterday we were treated to a ride on the extensive bike path in Folsom with Kent (unfortunately Sarah had to work.).  It was the first time that I have been on the bike since our cross-country tour came to an abrupt halt.  It was the first time that I have been on the bike since the tragedy of Peter’s death.  After my dad died in May every time I got on the bike I cried.  This lasted for a few weeks.  And yesterday I cried on this first ride after all that has passed.

A view from the bike path in Folsom, CA

I think that the grief I feel comes up when I ride because riding is often a kind of meditation for me.  It is a kind of prayer.  It is time when my mind stills and the monotony of the motion soothes me and allows me space to feel.  The movement releases all the emotional energy held in my body.  When I am experiencing grief this can be challenging for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that it is hard to explain exactly why I am crying at that moment. But I know that feeling this grief and making connection to my spirituality is critical at this time.

The dam in Folsom

Praying on the bike is not always grief driven.  When we were touring I had a prayer practice that I did as I rode.  It allowed me to connect with spirit and center myself.  My “chapel” was the open sky which feels as sacred as any physical structure, if not more so.  There were times on tour when I could feel spirit moving through me – like when we were in the Badlands, or riding early as the sun rose.  My spirituality is strongly connected to the cycles of nature and being out in the elements on my bike can bring me closer to spirit.

This practice of praying on the bike does require mindfulness and paying attention.  It’s a practice that is worth the effort in my life.  It helps me be both more grounded and more spiritual.  It allows me to feel alive in this moment, which (as I have said before) is all we really have anyway.