Having never been an athlete, this is all very new to me. I spent the first 45 years of my life outside my body and inside my head. To some degree this was because I had a rather traumatic childhood and learned that being present in my body was not always safe. So, I retreated inside. Over my life, until now, I had exercised my intellectual muscles and my emotional muscles but not my physical ones.
So when I discovered that I loved cycling, I was just as surprised as anyone, perhaps more so. I found that I liked the way it felt to be strong and to ride fast. It was fun to challenge myself to go faster and farther. However, it required an awareness of my physical body -- something I had avoided for much of my life.
Being in body was new and at times even uncomfortable. Even now, I find that some times I will cry after a hard work out. It is like all the painful emotions that have been stored in my body comes seeping out.
At the same time, I like being strong and having definition of muscles that I never even knew I had. I feel more whole being able to be in my body and feel good about it.
Showing posts with label middle age. Show all posts
Showing posts with label middle age. Show all posts
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Racing Chick at 46
I am 46 years old and have never been an athlete before. Now I am. I started cycling two years ago and it was the first time that I was truly interested in a sport. My first year I rode 6000 miles and the second 4500, including a 125 mile one day ride for AIDS.
The first year I just cycled like crazy and was happy just to be on the bike and learning how to draft, pace line, use my gears, and take care of my bike. The second year, I rode a little less and wondered what I could do to challenge myself and improve my performance. This year, I have decided to race. Now, writing it so baldly is a little scary to me. I did get a racing license and I have been trying to follow a training schedule and I have been looking at races that I might want to try, but I still have a hard time saying that I am going to race.
When I signed up for the license, I put my information into the electronic form and before I closed the deal a summary came up on my computer screen. It said that I was 47 years old as of December 2008. This is true. My reaction was to think, "what the hell do you think YOU are doing at 47 years old??!!" I still signed up for the license.
So here I am closing in on menopause and thinking about and training for bicycle racing. Who knew?
The first year I just cycled like crazy and was happy just to be on the bike and learning how to draft, pace line, use my gears, and take care of my bike. The second year, I rode a little less and wondered what I could do to challenge myself and improve my performance. This year, I have decided to race. Now, writing it so baldly is a little scary to me. I did get a racing license and I have been trying to follow a training schedule and I have been looking at races that I might want to try, but I still have a hard time saying that I am going to race.
When I signed up for the license, I put my information into the electronic form and before I closed the deal a summary came up on my computer screen. It said that I was 47 years old as of December 2008. This is true. My reaction was to think, "what the hell do you think YOU are doing at 47 years old??!!" I still signed up for the license.
So here I am closing in on menopause and thinking about and training for bicycle racing. Who knew?
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